Tainted Love
by Cenoha
Summary: Jaden loves Chazz and wants to be there for him, even if it means being used. JadenXChazz rambling; dark themes; gay themes; rated T for mentions of sex and violence


**A/N: More at the end. Boyxboy. Sex. Dark themes. AU. I don't own a thing.**

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Though generally carefree, Jaden could recognize a problem. He was slow, not stupid. He even understood he'd caused his own problem. Jaden's problem being Chazz and Chazz's problems.

At first, Jaden wondered about his own health. Was he sick? He was really warm, and he knew he was flushed. But it was only around Chazz. Being antisocial, it seemed like favoritism whenever Chazz would truly smile or laugh for someone. Jaden began to cherish these moments. Chazz's happiness was Jaden's high. A month passed before Jaden decided to really sit down and reflect on what he was feeling.

The revelation should've struck Jaden as shocking or even disgusting. Right? He was in love with, or at least romantically interested in, his best friend who thought of him as a rival—his very male best friend. But Jaden thought nothing of silly social restrictions. Love is love.

The best course of action, Jaden mused, was to confess his crush to Chazz. If Chazz felt differently, Jaden could ease back into friendship somewhat easily at this point. And if Chazz felt the same, awesome! Nothing good ever happened out of people hiding their true feelings.

Jaden remembered clearly the sad smile that Chazz's lips made at Jaden's confession. If Jaden wasn't in the middle of a heartfelt confession where he didn't want Chazz to feel pressured into accepting, he would've hugged him. And if Jaden was honest, he probably would have snuck in a few kisses as well.

Chazz never rejected Jaden. Jaden, confused in the beginning, now understood. The sad smile wasn't a rejection smile. It was a 'I have too many problems to be with someone' smile. And it broke Jaden's heart. Jaden never worried so much in his life. His heart weighed too much for his chest. The fact that Chazz didn't reject him barely lessened its heaviness.

In some subconscious effort to console them both Jaden became increasingly more touchy. When Chazz showed no discomfort, even a little pleasure, maybe, Jaden grew more bold. His hand stayed in Chazz's more often than not. Skin constantly made contact with skin in some way. Jaden would pull Chazz into his lap or find a not-so-subtle way to weave their legs together.

But his friends wouldn't ever stop reminding him.

_ 'You know Chazz sleeps around.'_

_'He's too problematic.'  
_

_ 'We don't want to see you hurt.'_

_'You need to stop. He's a whore.'  
_

Shut up, shut up! Jaden knew, of course he knew, the whole school knew! Everyday there was a new story from so-and-so who saw Chazz at this place with this guy and they went to a hotel or were straight up necking in public.

Jaden knew, but he didn't want to hear it. Not from his friends, not from his schoolmates, not even from his own mind. Chazz never brought it up. Not when they were friends, not when Jaden confessed, and certainly not when Jaden started furthering their not-relationship. Chazz tried to be passive. When Jaden first stole a kiss, Chazz didn't respond positively or negatively, just let it happen.

Jaden's favorite moments were when Chazz forgot to not care. When Jaden would ease Chazz into a kiss and Chazz would melt in response, sinking further against Jaden to deepen the kiss. Or times when Jaden revealed the sexually frustrated teenager he was, capturing Chazz's lips with a bruising force, and Chazz would momentarily lose his cool and tangle his fingers into Jaden's hair or wrapping around Jaden's middle, pulling Jaden closer still.

Jaden's least favorite moments were, unsurprisingly, when they fought. When Jaden confronted Chazz about wicked marks on his body. When Chazz slapped Jaden across the face and disappeared for three days. When Jaden asked Chazz to sleep with him and was refused angrily, although Chazz's eyes looked close to tears. When Chazz stopped Jaden's questions by giving in, or the times that followed when Chazz tried to drown his sorrows in sex with Jaden or with strangers.

Although everyone told him to stop, everyone spoke common sense, Jaden couldn't. Without Jaden, what would Chazz do? It worried Jaden to the point where his friends sat down with him to discuss his problems. Jaden easily compared Chazz to any drug, addicting, detrimental, all-consuming. Unlike drugs, Chazz could get better. He needed someone with him, he needed something constant, he especially needed love, and Jaden could never deny him that. The more Jaden experienced, the small snippets of confession he heard from Chazz, only caused his love for Chazz to grow. Jaden was helplessly protective at this point, but instead of drowning or swimming he could only tread water, staying in the same place.

Jaden's friends were worried for him, but Jaden was only worried about Chazz. Chazz could hurt him, Chazz could take advantage of him, Chazz could break him. Because Jaden didn't know how much more of this Chazz could take.

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**A/N:** I'm really excited that I'm finally finished with all these stupid tests and projects that I just got home and wrote this and posted it. I'm sorry if it the flow of it seems off or there are any bad typos (I hope there aren't, though, please tell me about typos). I recently became a little bit fascinated with the darker side of relationships (not as interested as I am in my usual fluff though, rest assured xD). I know I wrote these two a little weird this time. Just some after test boyxboy fanfic blowin' off steam ;)

Review whether you think I should write dark themes ever again, haha~ (This genre isn't my forte, so I won't be mad if you GENTLY tell me I shouldn't xD)


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